Month: February 2014

Black Relationships: In Search of the Black Knight Trailer

I am so looking forward to seeing this film. It has toured the film circuit throughout the United States and will make a pit stop in Charlotte in a few weeks. This film evokes strong passion inside of me as it gets my mind racing and thinking of ways to ventilate exactly how I feel on the matter. I think relationships in itself are complicated but I think being black and in a relationship can be much more intense, for lack of a better word. In the black community, it seems as if we place either everything we have into a relationship, as if it is our last hope of “making it,” or we don’t place much emphasis at all on it. Partly, I would attribute that to the decline in the black marriage rate that started in the 1970’s. Too many of us grew up without seeing strong and positive examples of healthy male and female relationships. For the people who did grow up in a two parent home, not to say that they have an advantage because it’s all based on how you use the knowledge you acquire, but at least have some framework about how relationships work.
I grapple when it comes to debating the state of black male and female relationships. I am all for black love and think it’s a beautiful. In fact, I would go on to say that love period is a beautiful thing, regardless of race that everyone should have access to enjoy. Speaking of access, are there only a few eligible bachelors for our women to choose from? That’s to be argued. However, I do think it’s imperative for our women and men to open their eyes beyond the superficial realm of how movies portray relationships and focus on self first. You cannot be in a relationship with another person if you are not whole. When you enter a relationship broken, you forgo your ability to think properly about your relationship. You have both the onset of emotions that come with being in a new relationship and the emotions from your past that you have yet to deal. Failing to take care of yourself usually result in a negative cycle of dating people who do not have your best interest at heart. But instead of you being able to recognize that, you don’t. You are too consumed with appearances and not character of the person you are dating. I charge everyone to know their worth and be realistic about their desires. It makes me laugh when people profess all the things that they believe they should be entitled to in a partner but cannot articulate what they are able to give. So, question for the night…..what do you contribute to a relationship?

Throwback Joint of The Day: Jodeci “Come & Talk to Me”

Jodeci recently announced their return to music a few weeks ago. Supposedly, Timbaland will be one of the main producers on their record. Not sure how I feel about that since so many of their classics were penned and produced by Devante. Who could ever forget Devante? “Devante Swang…” as KC Hailey would croon, helped to propel his group into super stardom using that New Jack Swing vibe. Dare I profess Jodeci as one of the best r&b groups of the early 90’s? Sure, I think it’s befitting or even at all for that matter. In personal opinion, no one can deny the vocals of Boyz II Men but their songs were entirely too romantic to bump in the Jeep with the homies. Jodeci provided more of a balance between gritty beats and influential lyrical content.
Here’s to one of my favorite tracks by them, “Come & Talk to Me.” Happy Monday!

Doing “Very Special” Things For People You Care For Most

“Got your Henny Chilling On Ice…”
Always liked that line of the song even though I don’t drink, simply because it reinforces the fact that she really cares about her man and decided to supply him with a chilled and refreshing beverage of his choice. There’s something enduring about being surrounded by people who do not mind doing special things for you because of their caring nature. It is an even greater life lesson to learn when you are able to reciprocate that same generosity back to them and then pass it on to another person. Imagine how wonderful the world would be if we all spent just a small fraction of our day helping to do something generous for another person. Think about how you feel when someone goes out of their way to make you smile.
Last night, I was able to support one of my students at his musical show in Charlotte. The show took a while to get started but it was well worth the wait. For one, I was excited and surprised by the amount of talent in the room. They were young and really fervent about their talents. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Furthermore, I was able to go that extra mile to help a student feel supported.
Today, I told my class that I would try to attend different events that they have and their hands went up with in the air to share their activities.
I charge you to step outside of your comfort zone and do something special for someone else you care about. Do not do it for the reaction you expect them to have. But, solely do it because you genuinely want to add a little sunshine to someone else’s day. And when you do so, that same love will be reciprocated back to you in some way and some form.

Seahawks Win the Super bowl

nflpano140kCongratulations to the Seahawks. I honestly underestimated their ability to take on Peyton and the Broncos. Maybe the Broncos were enjoying the legislature passed by Colorado a bit too much prior to tonight’s game.

On another note, Sherman talked all that smack and was able to back it up. Now, all of his naysayers are scrambling eggs with all that yolk on their faces.


Bittersweet Feelings About Common’s Film Luv


I recently watched the 2012 film rapper Common starred in entitled Luv. The film centers around a troubled uncle, played by Common, who provides his nephew with a crash course on what it means to be a man. As I watched this film I could not help but to cringe throughout as I watched the uncle “educate” the nephew. I do not want to give away the film so I won’t go into detail but I will say that the film was very colorful and intense.

I am all for mentor-ship and young black males having roles models to pattern themselves after, however, I do think that those influences should be as positive as possible. Too many times our young black males are encouraged to be overly aggressive, domineering, and non-compassionate in regards to feelings; whether it be their own feelings or another person. Black men deal with enough pressure in society already and should be encouraged to constructively deal with their emotions in more peaceable manners outside of violence. The four corners of violence usually leads to trouble that may result in a young fellows life being lived out in prison or an untimely death. I think films like Boyz N Da Hood did an excellent job of depicting inner city crime and youth violence. The slew of movies that were intended to recreate that feel left me and I’m sure a lot of other people feeling dishearten. We need to see more films about black men leading our youth in a constructive way. Sure, we’ve all seen the movies where the brother plays a football or basketball coach and he mentors. That storyline is majorly played out. However, it is still relevant to our society because we as citizens of the United States have yet to make math and science a priority over Spaulding.

I am an advit fan of Common. I respect his music and overall think he’s a pretty cool guy. I think that he did a phenomenal job acting the role of his character. However, it doesn’t take away the mixed emotions that the film riles up. I respect other peoples art because art is subjective. My own personal opinion is that people of color should challenge themselves to move beyond perpetuating the stereotypes we should be dispelling.

Top Model Eva Marcille Gives Birth To Baby Girl

On January 31st Eva Marcille took to social media to announce that she had finally given birth to a beautiful baby girl. She and father Kevin McCall, most notably known for his songwriting with Chris Brown on such tracks as “Dueces” Feat. Tyga and “Strip,” announced their pregnancy back in August.

Although they have yet to announce any plans for marriage, Marcille insists that “There is no other man besides Kevin,” that she would consider having a child with.”

Congratulations to the both of them. They may have the world’s next Top Model and singer on their hands.