I am so looking forward to seeing this film. It has toured the film circuit throughout the United States and will make a pit stop in Charlotte in a few weeks. This film evokes strong passion inside of me as it gets my mind racing and thinking of ways to ventilate exactly how I feel on the matter. I think relationships in itself are complicated but I think being black and in a relationship can be much more intense, for lack of a better word. In the black community, it seems as if we place either everything we have into a relationship, as if it is our last hope of “making it,” or we don’t place much emphasis at all on it. Partly, I would attribute that to the decline in the black marriage rate that started in the 1970’s. Too many of us grew up without seeing strong and positive examples of healthy male and female relationships. For the people who did grow up in a two parent home, not to say that they have an advantage because it’s all based on how you use the knowledge you acquire, but at least have some framework about how relationships work.
I grapple when it comes to debating the state of black male and female relationships. I am all for black love and think it’s a beautiful. In fact, I would go on to say that love period is a beautiful thing, regardless of race that everyone should have access to enjoy. Speaking of access, are there only a few eligible bachelors for our women to choose from? That’s to be argued. However, I do think it’s imperative for our women and men to open their eyes beyond the superficial realm of how movies portray relationships and focus on self first. You cannot be in a relationship with another person if you are not whole. When you enter a relationship broken, you forgo your ability to think properly about your relationship. You have both the onset of emotions that come with being in a new relationship and the emotions from your past that you have yet to deal. Failing to take care of yourself usually result in a negative cycle of dating people who do not have your best interest at heart. But instead of you being able to recognize that, you don’t. You are too consumed with appearances and not character of the person you are dating. I charge everyone to know their worth and be realistic about their desires. It makes me laugh when people profess all the things that they believe they should be entitled to in a partner but cannot articulate what they are able to give. So, question for the night…..what do you contribute to a relationship?